13 November 2010

Miscarriage: Moving On

This post may not be a very popular opinion. Maybe that’s because someone is not ready to move on. I’m just sharing my experience and what God has taught me along the way.

After the initial shock and devastation of a miscarriage, a process of healing must take place. I believe that healing process takes everyone down a different road. However, I believe the final destination must include moving on.

Moving on does not mean forgetting. Moving on also does not mean discounting your loss. That loss is REAL.  I will always remember both of my miscarriages (I have had another earlier loss since my first) and the dreams I had for both of those babies being added to our family. I will always mourn what could have been.

I refuse to be paralyzed in place. I will not waste months of my life wishing for what could have been because it will not be. I am still a wife to a loving husband, a mother to the sweetest, cutest two year old on the planet (yes, I’m biased), a daughter, sister, friend…I have responsibilities here that I should not overlook or neglect.

These thoughts had been resonating in me for a while, but I wasn’t exactly sure what that meant. It became crystal clear when I finally returned to my study on Ruth this morning. It was about ending a period of mourning because God had something new ahead for me. I wondered, “How are my feelings of mourning over my miscarriage affecting me and what God has in store for me?” What am I missing out on because I have a stronghold on the past?

The author of my study, Kelly Minter, brought forth this scripture, which was spot on. “Do not call to mind the former things, or ponder things of the past. Behold, I will do something new, now it will spring forth; will you not be aware of it? I will even make a roadway in the wilderness, rivers in the desert.” Isaiah 43:18-19.

Kelly wrote “My simple hope is when God has held us, healed us, and lifted our heads, that we’d be ready to move forward with Him; and though our hearts may always ache, we won’t stay in our mourning clothes forever”. AMEN!

The lyrics to this song describe my current feelings almost exactly. I am still waiting on the Lord, hoping to provide another child to our family. However, in the meantime I still want to worship & serve Him, not wasting a moment.

“While I’m waiting” by John Waller from the movie, Fireproof
I'm waiting 
I'm waiting on You, Lord 
And I am hopeful 
I'm waiting on You, Lord 
Though it is painful 
But patiently, I will wait 

I will move ahead, bold and confident 
Taking every step in obedience 
While I'm waiting 
I will serve You 
While I'm waiting 
I will worship 
While I'm waiting 
I will not faint 
I'll be running the race 
Even while I wait 

I'm waiting 
I'm waiting on You, Lord 
And I am peaceful 
I'm waiting on You, Lord 
Though it's not easy 
But faithfully, I will wait 
Yes, I will wait 
I will serve You while I'm waiting 
I will worship while I'm waiting 
I will serve You while I'm waiting 
I will worship while I'm waiting 
I will serve you while I'm waiting 
I will worship while I'm waiting on You, Lord

This is the third of three posts about my miscarriage experience. Here are my first and second posts.

1 comment:

  1. Praise God that He showed you this...He is truly a good and gracious God!